Do Couples Still Register?

WEDDING NOTES

The answer is a resounding yes! What has changed somewhat is the variety of stores and

shops that now provide a bridal registry service. We have learned that many brides

appreciate a little advice on what to do before they make registration selections. In spite of

the publicity being given to some celebrity brides and their “news making” registry choices,

the act of selecting registry sources and gift ideas are not just “gift grabs” as one of our

brides recently stated. Properly used, gift registries are a true service for your wedding

guests. Guests have the assurance of knowing they are giving a gift that will be cherished,

as well as the comfort of knowing that their gift is less likely to be duplicated.

Our first bit of advice is to reassure the bride that registry is “still being done”.

Next we remind the bride that the items chosen will be a part of their lives for years to come,

so choices should not be made in haste – nor should they be made without the groom’s

input.

We urge couples to make their choices in a timely manner so that friends and relatives have

time to purchase the gifts for pre wedding events as well as the wedding itself.

If you have many friends and family who live in a different area from you and the groom, we

advise our brides to include a gift registry source with a national reach. Most retailers have

on line ordering, shipping and registry recording. Today, most registries are electronic and

the bride’s choices are recorded for her along with guest purchases as they are made.

Please don’t let anyone advise you that it is ok to include registry information in your

invitation. IT IS NOT! Many things may have changed about weddings, but this has not

been one of them. It has always been in poor taste and remains so. Because most brides

create their own wedding web site, you can certainly list registry sites there.

Today’s gift registries may be more sophisticated than the early versions, but the goal of

getting information to your guests and helping them make a wonderful selection for you is

the same.

Invitation Etiquette

WEDDING NOTES – Invitation Etiquette

Our invitation specialists help brides create the wedding invitation of their dreams. They

know that the invitation sets the tone for the wedding it announces and as such is an early

indicator for the guests as to the type of celebration to which they are invited. Our experts

field all sorts of questions and are knowledgeable about the various paper styles, font types

and wording variations that brides are seeking. They are also asked about the

appropriateness of certain wording choices. We know that more and more brides are making

selections that blend the historically formal with the contemporary feel of today’s

preferences. However, the rule of good taste does still have punch and invitation specialists

are being asked if it is ok to ask for gifts of money on the wedding invitation. The answer is

a clear and consistent NO!

There is no socially acceptable or tactful way to include in invitation copy the fact that the

couple would prefer cash in place of gifts.

This situation is more likely to occur with a couple in their late 20s or early 30s who have

been living together for some time prior to the wedding. They tend to have all household

necessities and are not inclined to establish a traditional gift registry. They may be planning

to buy a house and would prefer cash gifts. This is a worthy preference but the invitation is

not the place to spread the word. For that they need to rely on word of mouth. The

couple needs to tell their parents, friends, and members of the wedding that when asked

about gift preferences, cash is the couple’s preference. But as Emily Post reminds us, “There

is no dictating to guests what they must give; it’s their prerogative to choose.”

Our consultants recommend that if you are asked directly what you want for a wedding gift,

be polite and say, “We’re saving for a down payment on a house, so if you’d like to give a

check, that’s how we would use it. But whatever you decide will be terrific. Thank you for

thinking of us.”

Not everyone is comfortable giving cash. They don’t like giving money. They prefer a

tangible gift. And that is terrific. And because there are guests with this preference, we

suggest that brides set up a traditional gift registry too to accommodate the guest who

prefers to give a gift other than cash.