Invitation Etiquette

WEDDING NOTES

 Invitation Etiquette


Our invitation specialists help brides create the wedding invitation of their dreams. They
know that the invitation sets the tone for the wedding it announces and as such is an early
indicator for the guests as to the type of celebration to which they are invited. Our experts
field all sorts of questions and are knowledgeable about the various paper styles, font types
and wording variations that brides are seeking. They are also asked about the
appropriateness of certain wording choices. We know that more and more brides are making
selections that blend the historically formal with the contemporary feel of today’s
preferences. However, the rule of good taste does still have punch and invitation specialists
are being asked if it is ok to ask for gifts of money on the wedding invitation. The answer is
a clear and consistent NO!

There is no socially acceptable or tactful way to include in invitation copy the fact that the
couple would prefer cash in place of gifts.
This situation is more likely to occur with a couple in their late 20s or early 30s who have
been living together for some time prior to the wedding. They tend to have all household
necessities and are not inclined to establish a traditional gift registry. They may be planning
to buy a house and would prefer cash gifts. This is a worthy preference but the invitation is
not the place to spread the word. For that they need to rely on word of mouth. The
couple needs to tell their parents, friends, and members of the wedding that when asked
about gift preferences, cash is the couple’s preference. But as Emily Post reminds us, “There
is no dictating to guests what they must give; it’s their prerogative to choose.”

Our consultants recommend that if you are asked directly what you want for a wedding gift,
be polite and say, “We’re saving for a down payment on a house, so if you’d like to give a
check, that’s how we would use it. But whatever you decide will be terrific. Thank you for
thinking of us.”

Not everyone is comfortable giving cash. They don’t like giving money. They prefer a
tangible gift. And that is terrific. And because there are guests with this preference, we
suggest that brides set up a traditional gift registry too to accommodate the guest who
prefers to give a gift other than cash.

What's For Dinner ? Choosing A Wedding Menu

What’s For Dinner?


Choosing A Wedding Menu


Part 2

You know your guests. These people are your friends and family, you know who you invited. Try choosing things that you know most people will enjoy.

Comfort foods, as I mentioned before, is always a good option. If you and your guests are mostly from the Midwest, stick with things that most of your guests will recognize. Meat and potatoes are always great choices, but don’t think that you can’t offer a healthy and one of a kind salad if you have some friends from the West Coast attending. If you are more of an East Coast couple, think about including seafood in the menu. Just make sure you offer another option in case someone’s guest is allergic.

You can’t please everyone. Keep in mind, it’s your day! No matter what you choose, you won’t make everyone happy. When all else fails, go with what you and your fiancé enjoy. As I’ve mentioned, people love it when the bride and groom show a little of themselves in the meal. Whether it’s a table favor with grandma’s cookies and the recipe, or adding your favorite pizza as a late night snack, try to include a little of the two of you if you can.

These are just a few suggestions that can help in the process. Remember that no matter what you choose, it’s your wedding day. You’re getting married, and while choosing a meal is important, nothing is as important as becoming a Mr. and Mrs.

What's For Dinner ? Choosing A Wedding Menu

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Part 1

When it comes to choosing a menu for your wedding, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Whether the facility is catering for you or you are bringing in a caterer, deciding what everyone will eat is kind of a big deal. Not only do you want the food to be delicious and beautifully presented, but you want to make sure that you choose things that most people (hopefully everyone) will enjoy. Below are a few tips to help keep your menu decisions as stress free as possible.



Decide what kind of wedding you want to have. Think about what you want the overall feel of the event to be. Do you want a buffet meal or a plated meal? Are you looking for food stations or an hors d’oeurves reception?

If you are looking for an elegant, classic and mostly traditional wedding, stick with plated. Assign everyone a seat with a menu card to let people know what they can expect. If you want to be even more formal, try serving several courses, such as a plated appetizer, followed by salad, then a soup or sorbet course, and then your entrée. And get creative if you want! Just because it’s a formal meal doesn’t mean it has to be stuffy. Ask if the chef has a signature dish or maybe a comfort food that can be served in a gourmet fashion. For example, I once had a bride who had to have macaroni and cheese at her wedding, but didn’t want it look like a kids meal. So she served a gourmet macaroni and cheese as its own course. Your guests will love that you incorporated a favorite side dish into your meal.

Added benefit: Plated meals take the least amount of time to serve- about an hour from salad to cake, if you serve the traditional three courses - so you can plan to get to the fun stuff as soon as possible!

Looking for something a little more fun? Try food stations. This relatively new trend in food allows your guests to try whatever they want in whatever order they want. Again, this style can lend itself to some really interesting presentations. Make sure you include stations that guests can make a full dinner out of if you are hosting an evening event. For example, you’ll want to include a protein, like a carving station, a starch, like a mashed potato bar or a risotto station, and a green of some kind, such as a large vegetable display or salad station.

Another way to go is offering different cuisines at different stations. Try an Asian station with sushi and spring rolls. Offer an Italian station with an antipasto display and bruschetta selections while a culinary attendant offers your guests made to order pasta dishes. At the American station, present sliders with a toppings bar.

Added benefit: This is a great way to go if you and your fiancé can’t exactly decide on a theme.

Lindsay Sanders is the Catering Services Manager at the Hilton President, Downtown Kansas City’s only AAA Four Diamond Hotel. She coordinates all weddings and wedding related events for the Hilton President, and has been in the hospitality industry for six years.